My Symptoms of Clinical Dependency

I always feel there is something amiss with myself, i seek to find an answer for myself, sometimes i think i had some symptoms of clinical dependency.

I have Low self-esteem, frequent anxiety and verbal hostility towards others, even my close friends and relatives. I often stay at home for extended period of time because i fear the outside world and fear of crowds.

My poor social performance and rigid interpersonal behavior had lead to few friends, i had one good friend in primary school. It is the only friend i have in those five years, at primary five we quarrel and went out own ways.

My last year at primary school was lonely, i spend time walking around school, going to the school library and trying to act like i was busy to my family members. I sepend lots of time reading comics at the school ibrary.

I feel like i am a ghost of my past, drifting around without aim or target, my childhood friend and cousins had progress much better then me in both academic and personal lifestyle.

I had poor grades since i start schooling, poor in sports, few friends and fewer close friends, no girlfriends or close female friends, poor in communication and self presentation.

I should be suffering from this dependency.

Psychological dependency is a dependency of the mind, and leads to psychological withdrawal symptoms (such as cravings, irritability, insomnia, depression, anorexia).

Addiction can in theory be derived from any rewarding behavior, and is believed to be strongly associated with the dopaminergic system of the brain's reward system.

Some claim that it is a habitual means to avoid undesired activity, but typically it is only so to a clinical level in individuals who have emotional, social, or psychological dysfunctions ( psychological addiction is defined as such), replacing normal positive stimuli not otherwise attained.

It is considered possible to be both psychologically and physically dependent at the same time. Some doctors make little distinction between the two types of addiction. However, the cause and characteristics of each of the two types of addiction is quite different, as is the type of treatment preferred.

Psychological dependence could be from activities and behavioral patterns that can be considered addictions, if they are harmful, for me it would likely be Internet use, usage of computers.